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Just Use Birdseed
Just Use Birdseed is a side story in the NMD adventure series by TinyCastleGuy. It is not yet finished, but you can read the sneek peek from some point near the beginning: Sneek Peek *'Waitress: '''Hiya. Can I take your order? * *'Tenda: I'm feeling a bit peckish. A dozen of your finest sandwhiches please. With onions. *'Waitress: '''Do you have any money, or are you trying to be sneaky? *'Tenda: 'Sneaky. Wait! Um, do you mean to say my credit's no good here? *'Waitress: 'You don't have any credit because you never have any money, Tenda. *'Tenda: 'How did you see through my disguise? *'Waitress: 'Disguise?!? That's the same googly face you always have! *'Tenda: '''Oh right. I tried to get a disguise from the costume shop, but they knew I don't have any money either so I figured I'd have to wear a disguise to buy the disguise, and it got a bit confusing. Lets just assume for the purpose of the argument that i'm wearing a fabulous disguise and you have no idea that it's me. *Waitress: 'But you aren't, and I do. *'Tenda: Aren't do what? What are you talking about? *'Waitress: '''Unless you have some way to pay for your meal, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. *'Tenda: 'I may not have any money, but I do have... Tenda scribbles something on a napkin. *'Tenda: '...this coupon! *'Waitress: 'This is a napkin with 'free lunch' written on it. *'Tenda: 'A napkin-- from The Sheriff! *'Waitress: 'But I just saw you-- *'Tenda: 'It's a proclamation, ordering you to make me a sandwich with Niberty & Bad Ketchup for all! *'Waitress: 'If this is from the sheriff, why are all the words spelled wrong? *'Tenda: 'Egad woman! Where's your patriotic spirit? *'Waitress: 'Get off the table! *'Tenda: 'No. I'm being dramatic. *'Tenda: 'My Fellow Bar Patrons! Don't you yearn for the days when someone could walk into a restraunt, brandish a piece of paper they claimed was from the Sheriff, and get a free meal? I say it's time to-- *'Waitress: 'Sigh. I'll go get the frying pan. *'Tenda: 'You gonna cook me up something tasty? *'Waitress: 'No, I'll be hitting you on the head with it. *'Tenda: 'You know, I suddenly remember, I have a prior engagement elsewhere. 'scuse me. The waitress throws Tenda out of the bar. He screams. *'Tenda: 'Fine! Be that way! But I shan't give this joint a favorable review in my next 'culinary column' in the times! *'Waitress: 'You don't work for the newspaper! *'Tenda: 'Good point. Well, I definitely won't recommend this eatery to any of my friends! *'Waitress: 'You don't have any friends! *'Tenda: 'I'm considering getting some. *'Tenda: 'Dangit. I need to find some new people. Everyone here already knows all of my shenanigans. A man walks by. *'Tenda: ''scuse me sir! Can you spare a sandwich? *'Man: 'Sorry, all I have in my pockets are tacos. *'Tenda: 'Can I have a taco then? *'Man: 'Nope. If you had asked for a taco first, I could have given you one, but since you asked for a sandwich, There's nothing I can do. *'Man: '*Chomp.* Oh yeah. *Gulp.* This is fabulous. *Snarf.* Mmm... Another man walks by. *'Tenda: 'Scuse me sir, spare tacos? Or sandwiches? Or other various foodstuffs? *'Man: 'WHAT?!? It's customary, when panhandling, to ask for spare change!! Are you not clear on this concept?!? *'Tenda: 'Well, I was mixing it up, hoping my creativy would inspire generosity. *'Man: 'Who on earth carries sandwiches around? *'Tenda: 'Well, that other guy... *'Man: 'You're supposed to ask for money! Spare change! That's the arrangement! *'Tenda: 'Could I have some reglar ol' money then? *'Man: 'All requests must be submitted in writing. *'Tenda: 'Um, what? *'Man: 'Sorry, I'm already fleeing! *'Tenda: 'Dangit. Cursed by my own unusual phraseology. I must be more purfunctory and brief. A man dances by. *'Tenda: 'Spare change sir? *'Man: 'I'd love some! *'Tenda: 'I mean-- Do You Have Any? *'Man: '''Yes I do! *Tenda: 'Can I have some? *'Man: No! Tenda and the man stare at each other. *'Tenda: '''I don't think i'm cut out to be a street beggar. *'Man: 'Oh, is that what you were doing? *'Tenda: 'Duh! *'Man: '''I thought you were merely inquiring as to my fiscal solvency. *Tenda: 'Um... I was! I'm a professional Fiscal Solvency Inquirer! That'll be one silver dollar please. *'Man: 'Um, no! *'Tenda: 'howzabout a silver penny then? We both know you can spare it. *'Man: 'Pennies aren't silver! They're brown! See? *'Tenda: 'Why, so they are. *'Tenda: 'So, would you like to sign up for our monthly subscription service? *'Man: 'Huh? *'Man: 'You're pushing your luck. *'Tenda: '''Yes! Yes I am! To read more, wait until it's released. HAI until then!